After almost 2.5 years I am back to work again. Feels great! Didn't realize a part of me always wanted to go back. But that work has to be what I like. So, when an opportunity came up at this old client of mine (where I like to go back any day), I was happy again. Although that meant I have to miss being with DD (dear daughter)......
It's already a week now that I started. In this past week I noticed many things......
#1, DD misses me when I am gone. She doesn't cry or bother dad that much, but she looks forward to me and clings to me like a fevicol when I am back home.
#2, My dear husband (DH) is a good baby sitter. Although I had no doubts in it...but he really stepped up to the plate when the need arised. He tries his very best in keeping DD entertained when I am not home. I wonder why he didn't do that before?
#3, I didn't forget SAP (the software I work on) at all. Looks like once you have 15 yrs of experience in any field, you can remember the things even in your sleep :)
So, all in all it was a good week. I felt fresh, confident, productive, DD sick and happy again :)
I have no one but to thank my hubby for letting me go back and in some parts to DD for not cribbing...although I would love if she were little easy on that clinging part :)
Hey, why do we always want something more than what we get in life?
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Tranquil moment
***** This post was scribbled originally on my notepad....and now I got time to post it! *****
It is the memorial day weekend. Last day of May, Monday the 31st. I'm sitting here in my room at Townplace suites looking out the window. It is raining heavily. I like the thunder noises that I hear. I guess it's been a while we had the rain. And it was extremely hot yesterday. So, the coolnes this rain brings is a bonus. The air conditioner is making a subtle humming noice. But then when it stops I can hear the rain falling on the windows. Love the quietness in the room because my daughter (DD) is sleeping and I love this quiet moment. My husband is as usual on his computer.
I keep thinking why I find this moment so peaceful. There are hundreds of things to do on my list. But somehow I am not bothered by it right now. I am living this moment..and enjoying the cool air, big thunder and falling rain noises. I'm glad I have a computer to jot down what I feel. Because you know nowadays we can type faster than we can write. I try to remember what memories I recall for this moment. The ones that come to mind are the days of my post graduation at KREC (it's called NITK now) and hostel life in Surathkal. I was doing my masters (MCA) there. As you know the monsoon season in that place, actually the whole of South Canara region is pretty intense. We had the rains all thru the season. But the ones coming to mind are the ones that starts the season. I guess it must be during June or so when we used to have our finals. We had some days off between the papers. And it was those days we used to go the Library or to the empty classrooms to study. But these rains and the nice feelings that brings along with it never let me study. I used to sit there think about having some garam garam bajjis, pakoras and some of my moms delicious snacks. I used to feel a little homesick as well especially when the thought of food came to mind. That was the first time I ever stayed out of home. So, it was bound to happen.
I also dreamt of going home after the exams and having a good time eating moms home cooked food. Ahh! the taste of it made me drool with juices flowing all over my mouth. If you ever stayed in a hostel you know how bad the hostel food tastes. All my three years there, I hardly liked any meal. It was horrible! I never complained about the food to my family. My older Sis visited me few times in the hostel and I guess once or twice she had food there. She told my mom about how horrible that food was and how I was going to survive that food for three long years. My mom was surprised as to how I never brought up the bad food topic even once...I guess I was very fortunate not to be bothered by such trivial things and always looked at the bigger picture. From my point of view, I was there to study and make a good career out of my degree. Most importantly to make my family proud wherever I land on my carrer.
Slowly, I'm coming out of my thoughts as I hear the big thunder noises. A sudden peace fills my heart. The memories this rain brings and the happiness it accompanies is what I want to savor right now..nothing else! I just want to be still and one with the moment, not thinking of the umpteen things that I juggle each day. And if possible I want to freeze this moment and get back to it when I can.
I am looking at DS, who is sleeping peacefully. I enjoy the peace in her sleep. She is hardly still when awake and now to see her in that deep sleep gives me internal calmness. I love her to death! I guess, so far it has been going thru the new mommy things like making sure I keep her safe and feed her on time, make sure she doesn't catch any cold. Like those little things a new mom goes thru to protect her little one. So, never took time to enjoy my baby. Now that she is close to a year old, I feel good for all the things I have done so far. And to see her growing into a really beautiful young girl brings me boundless happiness. I am getting used to her laughs and play. She is responding more to her environment now. My gosh...she smiles at every person she comes across and gets complements along the way. May it be for her beautiful eyes or her sweet smile, she attracts everyone like a magnet. She is a cute baby, but we (me and my husband and anyone in the family I guess) can't figure out so far whom she resembles the most. I keep wondering about it many times but haven't figured that out till now. She sure has my color and some looks of me, but got some beautiful features of her dad as well. No matter how she looks like, I love her a lot!
The rains have stopped finally and I am now getting out of my moment of dream and tranquilty. Things I need to do is coming to mind slowly. Also, the french open match between Genepri and Djokovic is going on and I keep glancing occassionaly at the muted TV set. I see DS awake just for a while. She changed her side and went back to sleep.But not for very long! She is wide awake and looks at me with a smile! Oh, that beautiful smile again. Melts my heart and gets me out of my dreams back to reality. And I don't mind the reality when it comes to spending time with my baby.......!!!
It is the memorial day weekend. Last day of May, Monday the 31st. I'm sitting here in my room at Townplace suites looking out the window. It is raining heavily. I like the thunder noises that I hear. I guess it's been a while we had the rain. And it was extremely hot yesterday. So, the coolnes this rain brings is a bonus. The air conditioner is making a subtle humming noice. But then when it stops I can hear the rain falling on the windows. Love the quietness in the room because my daughter (DD) is sleeping and I love this quiet moment. My husband is as usual on his computer.
I keep thinking why I find this moment so peaceful. There are hundreds of things to do on my list. But somehow I am not bothered by it right now. I am living this moment..and enjoying the cool air, big thunder and falling rain noises. I'm glad I have a computer to jot down what I feel. Because you know nowadays we can type faster than we can write. I try to remember what memories I recall for this moment. The ones that come to mind are the days of my post graduation at KREC (it's called NITK now) and hostel life in Surathkal. I was doing my masters (MCA) there. As you know the monsoon season in that place, actually the whole of South Canara region is pretty intense. We had the rains all thru the season. But the ones coming to mind are the ones that starts the season. I guess it must be during June or so when we used to have our finals. We had some days off between the papers. And it was those days we used to go the Library or to the empty classrooms to study. But these rains and the nice feelings that brings along with it never let me study. I used to sit there think about having some garam garam bajjis, pakoras and some of my moms delicious snacks. I used to feel a little homesick as well especially when the thought of food came to mind. That was the first time I ever stayed out of home. So, it was bound to happen.
I also dreamt of going home after the exams and having a good time eating moms home cooked food. Ahh! the taste of it made me drool with juices flowing all over my mouth. If you ever stayed in a hostel you know how bad the hostel food tastes. All my three years there, I hardly liked any meal. It was horrible! I never complained about the food to my family. My older Sis visited me few times in the hostel and I guess once or twice she had food there. She told my mom about how horrible that food was and how I was going to survive that food for three long years. My mom was surprised as to how I never brought up the bad food topic even once...I guess I was very fortunate not to be bothered by such trivial things and always looked at the bigger picture. From my point of view, I was there to study and make a good career out of my degree. Most importantly to make my family proud wherever I land on my carrer.
Slowly, I'm coming out of my thoughts as I hear the big thunder noises. A sudden peace fills my heart. The memories this rain brings and the happiness it accompanies is what I want to savor right now..nothing else! I just want to be still and one with the moment, not thinking of the umpteen things that I juggle each day. And if possible I want to freeze this moment and get back to it when I can.
I am looking at DS, who is sleeping peacefully. I enjoy the peace in her sleep. She is hardly still when awake and now to see her in that deep sleep gives me internal calmness. I love her to death! I guess, so far it has been going thru the new mommy things like making sure I keep her safe and feed her on time, make sure she doesn't catch any cold. Like those little things a new mom goes thru to protect her little one. So, never took time to enjoy my baby. Now that she is close to a year old, I feel good for all the things I have done so far. And to see her growing into a really beautiful young girl brings me boundless happiness. I am getting used to her laughs and play. She is responding more to her environment now. My gosh...she smiles at every person she comes across and gets complements along the way. May it be for her beautiful eyes or her sweet smile, she attracts everyone like a magnet. She is a cute baby, but we (me and my husband and anyone in the family I guess) can't figure out so far whom she resembles the most. I keep wondering about it many times but haven't figured that out till now. She sure has my color and some looks of me, but got some beautiful features of her dad as well. No matter how she looks like, I love her a lot!
The rains have stopped finally and I am now getting out of my moment of dream and tranquilty. Things I need to do is coming to mind slowly. Also, the french open match between Genepri and Djokovic is going on and I keep glancing occassionaly at the muted TV set. I see DS awake just for a while. She changed her side and went back to sleep.But not for very long! She is wide awake and looks at me with a smile! Oh, that beautiful smile again. Melts my heart and gets me out of my dreams back to reality. And I don't mind the reality when it comes to spending time with my baby.......!!!
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