Thursday, November 25, 2010

Little muse

Most of my inspiration to write comes when I am lying down on the bed next to my little muse. There is something different I expereince. May be the calmness the touch of the little angel brings to my mind. Her breathing creates a wave of peaceful aura and the mind finds its best place it can be. Creative thoughts flow effortlessly and often I have to get up to just pen my thoughts. Sometimes the thoughts stick in my mind till I get up the next morning and that's how I often write....

I always had a passion for writing. I wrote many poems and quotes in my school days. Had a passion for reading and writing then. Slowly, as I grew up found less and less time to read and write apart from my school/college work. So, the passion was still there but was tucked inside somewhere deep in the brain.

Now after the birth of my daughter, suddenly the passion for writing got rekindled again. Often her beautiful smiles and innocent acts were the perfect muse. As someone once said, the birth of your child is the most amazing thing in ones life and the happiness you experience is out of this world. May be this happiness gets your right brain activated and that's how I find this passion coming back to me again......

Just have to say, I love this inspirations and the creative hours on the bed. And the joy that accompanies by just putting ones thoughts in ink cannot be explained in words....or could it be? Hmmm.....!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Trading Places

It was a colorful evening. Nine year Old Medha was all dressed up for the occasion. She loved these gatherings where she could meet her many friends. They all loved to hang out in the outside play yard when all the festivities were going on in the inside auditorium. She didn’t mind missing any of those as she was content playing and making new friends. She met Sangeetha once in such a gathering and now they are best friends. Today Sangeetha brought her cousin Aparna who is from Mumbai. She never met anyone so far from a big city like that. And it sure was interesting to know how life n Mumbai is for a beautiful girl like Aparna. She was fixated on her beautiful eyes and the fancy mini dress she was wearing. Medha had seen those in the annual exhibition stalls last Christmas at the old Bishop School campgrounds. She wanted one of those for herself but Mom denied her request. It cost 100 rupees and Dad couldn’t afford that money for just clothes. She had two older siblings and being all girls it was easy for Mom to buy clothes in wholesale yard and get them stitched at the famous Jamaal tailors. She has never got anything from the ready made garment stores. According to mom they won’t wear well and won’t last long. So, with wide eyes she gazed at all those colorful dresses in the exhibition stalls as long as she could and imagined herself wearing one. And today to see one of those on Aparna was like waking up those desires that had long back tucked back inside her mind.

Aparna was going on with her Mumbai stories that kept both Sangeetha and Medha glued over like fevicol to their bench. They didn’t mind the commotion that was going on from the endless line of cars that was coming into the school compound and all those kids coming to play in the grounds leaving their parents inside the auditorium. Medha didn’t even mind her nature call request that had set in a while ago. She contemplated leaving both her friends behind and going inside to attend it. However, she would miss the fun in those ten minutes. And she didn’t want to interrupt the splendid story of Aparna. So, she stuck there holding her pelvis tight enough so the nature call will go away slowly. And for sometime it did…

Inside the auditorium, the ambiance was so different. The place was slightly packed. There were rows of chairs occupied with people who looked like they were dressed up for a wedding. Those colorful silk saris with wide borders stole many sights. The fragrance of the Mysore jasmine filled the air like soft perfume, mixed up with those incense sticks on the dais creating a potpourri nostalgia. Everywhere you could see women wearing those beautiful flowers on their fancy hairdo’s and it was a sight and smell extravaganza.

Sumati was sitting there in the front seat oblivious of what was going on with Medha outside. She knew there were plenty of kids to keep her company and didn’t have to worry. She always brought Medha for such occasions as she was the youngest of her children. Both of her older daughters were busy with their school work or other chores around the house, but Medha always was there ready to pop out of the house with no notice required. She knew she could get Medha ready in a jiffy as she hardly needed any sprucing. She always looked beautiful even with her not so fancy clothes. Medha was a darling child of Mom and Dad and was bestowed with many things that were a dream for the older siblings. Still Medha never took the pampering into her head and was the most obedient in the house.

It was five minutes to five and the group had already taken their seat on the dais. They were a group of six accompanied with a Mridangist, a Gatam and a tamboorian. Leela always played the tamboori for the whole event. At times when she needed break Sumati didn’t mind replacing her and it gave her much pleasure being part of the event. After all one of the acclaimed musicians in the group is her own aunt Smt Lalithamma who was in her early fifties. She was a famous recording artist in that area and her influence had rubbed off on Sumati which made her attend these Sangeetha Sabha that took place once a month. But today was special. It was the famous Thyagaraja Aradhana and she wouldn’t miss this event in any circumstance. Only a few times she missed these regular gathering due to her periods or some guest in the house and she felt sad missing them. But today is not one of those days. It was perfect. She had no obstacles making it here and being part of the big event. She sat there listening to the beautiful renditions of the krithis, one after the other from her aunt and group. The evening felt magical. All those music wafting in the air creating a surreal ambiance that felt like heaven had descended on earth. The beautiful ladies on the dais with their magnificent voices accompanied by their colorful silk saris and traditional makeovers were just the sight to indulge and the music for the ears. Sumati sat there listening as the hours go by like minutes without minding what her daughter was doing. Medha was outside in her own world not minding what her Mom was going through inside. Both were pretty content in their own place never wanting to trade their time for anything else in this world…..

It must have been a long time since Medha dosed off listening to the krithis that was playing in the recorder. The tape that her mother gave her 10 years ago when she first came to this country was playing the recordings from one such concert she attended with her Mother. But now unlike before she enjoys listening to them. They bring back a lot of memories from those childhood times and also of Mom who passed away last year to an unexpected stroke. Today she has become the same Sumati of 25 years ago sitting in the chair on the front seat of the sabha and going through an enchanted evening. It was Rhea who back came from school saw her Mom comfortably stretched on the couch closing her eyes and slightly humming to the songs in her sleep. She wanted to wake her up but then how could she? She had never seen Mom so content after Grandma’s sudden demise and today for the first time she could see a slight ray of happiness on her face. She sat there for a minute listening to the songs that were playing but her mind was too busy thinking of the events from the school. There was this new boy Julian who joined today who had moved from Manhattan, NY. She had a good time making friendship with him and listening to his stories. She was enthralled by all the details he was giving of the tall skyscrapers and the endless list of traffic on his way to school in Manhattan. He had mentioned how calm and quiet this Wichita, KS neighborhood was compared to New york. She had never been to New york but by the description of it by Julian she wanted to go visit that place during her summer holidays. She kept dreaming all those things sitting there next to her mom….and Mom was in her own world dreaming…..Both looked pretty content in their own space never wanting to trade it for anything else in this whole wide world.

It was Dad’s car pulling into the garage that brought them back to this world and as they opened their eyes and saw each other, there was a strange sense of happiness wafting inside them which could be seen in their gleaming faces.

My Little Angel

I wait in silence for you
To wake up and play with me
I secretly wish
You are always with me

I yearn for those beautiful smiles
makes my day worth living
I long for those little hugs
When I come home to you

I see those tiny hands clapping
A big cheer spreading
I wonder why I left you in the first place
I am better off being with you

I long for your love
Your clinginess doesn't bother me
I know I had a good life before you came
But it's not close to what I have now

You are more than what I wished for
My little Angel
You are a part of me
That I don't want to part with ever

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Nature, I love you!

Some of the pictures from my collection. Although these aren't of professional quality, they are some of my passionate works. I hope to get better at it just by clicking one photo at a time.....














Monday, October 25, 2010

Sunrise and Sunsets

Nature always inspires me and I love the colors of sun during his rise and fall everyday. Some days just feel very majestic and one such day I had the fortune of capturing the beauty in my humble lens.










Waiting for Spring!

I am not edgy
I am bare
I am not pretty
But I care

I was beautiful
Not long ago
Oozing exuberance
Color vibrance

Dancing with joy
lush green branch
sweet ripe fruits
covered every inch

They flocked to me
Said I am pretty
I had plenty to offer
By grace of Almighty

Then times changed
I had to shed
Rule of nature
That I bled

I still have the majesty
Just can’t show
Hold on a little longer
Just don’t go

I will regain my glory
Bigger and better
Just a matter of time
I will be sought after

Wait for the days
When spring is here
Then tell me how I look
I’ll have much more to offer






Little Pleasures


A lullaby for my baby in the evening
A cup of joe in the morning
Lifes' little pleasures
Only if you take the time for it

I see the painted sky
Red, yellow and blue
Where did the colors come from?
I have no clue

Changing seasons...Awe! so pretty
Every little thing has its own beauty
Oh...sure! you can see it
Only if you make time for it

Renewal


Lonely path I travel
Bearing the cold
Holding hands with bliss
and deep solitude

Mundane thoughts cloud my mind
Memories unfold
Pristine nature beckons light
unveiling a happier mood

Plush green valley ahead
Rising sun, shine naked
Vibrancy restored
All things renewed

Dew drops kiss goodbye
to morning rays
Cool mist air
Wipe away despair

Sleepless thoughts last night
Aches, pain and dreary eyes
All seem trivial now
A bright future bestowed













Fall Colors

It's almost end of October. And most of the trees are already bare reminding me fall season is going to start her farewell trip soon. I miss the colors from fall foliage. I was fortunate to take some pics before they vanished all of a sudden one day. Here are some of them......












Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Motherhood

Once you become a mother, you're never the same
The old in you has gone, and a new you has begun
You think of your baby even in your dreams
You are protective of them no matter how old they get
Motherly instinct brings in you a sixth sense
You know when they are hurt
You don't carry them for just nine months
You'll carry them forever...with an invisible cord !




Monday, September 20, 2010

Summer

A warm lazy afternoon
and a good book by the poolside
Fresh beer and cool lemonade
to keep my thirst aside

Gentle breeze now and then
scatter fresh scents in the air
Flowers and beautiful ladies
Complete the whole affair

Sunscreens and flipflops
waiting for their turn
Kids laughter and water splashes
spreading cheer and fun

Oh! beautiful Summer,
my favorite season of the year
Don't leave me here
I'm not done yet...!

Window to the World




I see a window to the world
The world that intrigues me
At the same time enchants me
Everything big and small...!
Where you see a shadow
I see brightness
Where you get bored
I see excitement
I see a window to the world
The one I'm about to explore...!




Saturday, July 31, 2010

Back to work!

After almost 2.5 years I am back to work again. Feels great! Didn't realize a part of me always wanted to go back. But that work has to be what I like. So, when an opportunity came up at this old client of mine (where I like to go back any day), I was happy again. Although that meant I have to miss being with DD (dear daughter)......

It's already a week now that I started. In this past week I noticed many things......

#1, DD misses me when I am gone. She doesn't cry or bother dad that much, but she looks forward to me and clings to me like a fevicol when I am back home.

#2, My dear husband (DH) is a good baby sitter. Although I had no doubts in it...but he really stepped up to the plate when the need arised. He tries his very best in keeping DD entertained when I am not home. I wonder why he didn't do that before?

#3, I didn't forget SAP (the software I work on) at all. Looks like once you have 15 yrs of experience in any field, you can remember the things even in your sleep :)

So, all in all it was a good week. I felt fresh, confident, productive, DD sick and happy again :)

I have no one but to thank my hubby for letting me go back and in some parts to DD for not cribbing...although I would love if she were little easy on that clinging part :)

Hey, why do we always want something more than what we get in life?

Friday, July 23, 2010

Tranquil moment

***** This post was scribbled originally on my notepad....and now I got time to post it! *****


It is the memorial day weekend. Last day of May, Monday the 31st. I'm sitting here in my room at Townplace suites looking out the window. It is raining heavily. I like the thunder noises that I hear. I guess it's been a while we had the rain. And it was extremely hot yesterday. So, the coolnes this rain brings is a bonus. The air conditioner is making a subtle humming noice. But then when it stops I can hear the rain falling on the windows. Love the quietness in the room because my daughter (DD) is sleeping and I love this quiet moment. My husband is as usual on his computer.

I keep thinking why I find this moment so peaceful. There are hundreds of things to do on my list. But somehow I am not bothered by it right now. I am living this moment..and enjoying the cool air, big thunder and falling rain noises. I'm glad I have a computer to jot down what I feel. Because you know nowadays we can type faster than we can write. I try to remember what memories I recall for this moment. The ones that come to mind are the days of my post graduation at KREC (it's called NITK now) and hostel life in Surathkal. I was doing my masters (MCA) there. As you know the monsoon season in that place, actually the whole of South Canara region is pretty intense. We had the rains all thru the season. But the ones coming to mind are the ones that starts the season. I guess it must be during June or so when we used to have our finals. We had some days off between the papers. And it was those days we used to go the Library or to the empty classrooms to study. But these rains and the nice feelings that brings along with it never let me study. I used to sit there think about having some garam garam bajjis, pakoras and some of my moms delicious snacks. I used to feel a little homesick as well especially when the thought of food came to mind. That was the first time I ever stayed out of home. So, it was bound to happen.

I also dreamt of going home after the exams and having a good time eating moms home cooked food. Ahh! the taste of it made me drool with juices flowing all over my mouth. If you ever stayed in a hostel you know how bad the hostel food tastes. All my three years there, I hardly liked any meal. It was horrible! I never complained about the food to my family. My older Sis visited me few times in the hostel and I guess once or twice she had food there. She told my mom about how horrible that food was and how I was going to survive that food for three long years.  My mom was surprised as to how I never brought up the bad food topic even once...I guess I was very fortunate not to be bothered by such trivial things and always looked at the bigger picture. From my point of view, I was there to study and make a good career out of my degree. Most importantly to make my family proud wherever I land on my carrer.

Slowly, I'm coming out of my thoughts as I hear the big thunder noises. A sudden peace fills my heart. The memories this rain brings and the happiness it accompanies is what I want to savor right now..nothing else! I just want to be still and one with the moment, not thinking of the umpteen things that I juggle each day. And if possible I want to freeze this moment and get back to it when I can.

I am looking at DS, who is sleeping peacefully. I enjoy the peace in her sleep. She is hardly still when awake and now to see her in that deep sleep gives me internal calmness. I love her to death! I guess, so far it has been going thru the new mommy things like making sure I keep her safe and feed her on time, make sure she doesn't catch any cold. Like those little things a new mom goes thru to protect her little­­­ one. So, never took time to enjoy my baby. Now that she is close to a year old, I feel good for all the things I have done so far. And to see her growing into a really beautiful young girl brings me boundless happiness. I am getting used to her laughs and play. She is responding more to her environment now. My gosh...she smiles at every person she comes across and gets complements along the way. May it be for her beautiful eyes or her sweet smile, she attracts everyone like a magnet. She is a cute baby, but we (me and my husband and anyone in the family I guess) can't figure out so far whom she resembles the most. I keep wondering about it many times but haven't figured that out till now. She sure has my color and some looks of me, but got some beautiful features of her dad as well. No matter how she looks like, I love her a lot!

The rains have stopped finally and I am now getting out of my moment of dream and tranquilty. Things I need to do is coming to mind slowly. Also, the french open match between Genepri and Djokovic is going on and I keep glancing occassionaly at the muted TV set. I see DS awake just for a while. She changed her side and went back to sleep.But not for very long! She is wide awake and looks at me with a smile! Oh, that beautiful smile again. Melts my heart and gets me out of my dreams back to reality. And I don't mind the reality when it comes to spending time with my baby.......!!!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Random thoughts

I am surprised how googling something online transports your thoughts to someplace. This is my story...Today I made bisibelle bath (a favorite south indian dish) using MTR masala that I bought from an Indian store. I always (atleast used to) prefer MTR masala to others. I have used all the different kinds like pulliyogare (another rice dish from south india), Vangi bath, instant rava idli mix etc and found them close to my mothers cooking. Hence preferred them all along my stay here in the states where I can't get my moms masala. Although I must admit I bring my moms sambar and rasam powders whenever I visit India, still..for all the others I rely on the trustworthy MTR brand. I know they are really famous in the whole of Bangalore for their Mavalli Tiffin room restaurants, which made me think they are good when it comes to the instant masalas' they sell on the shelf. So, here I go...bought the bisibelle bath masala a week ago. Today was the day to cook the dish since I figured out I had a few different veggies like beans, carrots, cauliflower etc to make this dish. My husband adores this dish and everytime I make this dish it turns out to be good. But not today. I used the MTR paste this time compared to the powder I get usually. But that shouldn't be a problem I thought. Paste or powder should not alter the taste. Somehow today the dish turned out to be pathetic! Somehow the masala didn't live up to its expectations..
Disppointed by the result, I thought of googling in to see if there were others who have undergone the same sad story as me. So, I sat down on my computer and started typing..MTR masala doesn't taste good. I got few search results but nothing on the "doesn't taste good" part. The first result I got said something on the MTR pulao masala and I curiously clicked on the link. It took me to a blog from someone called mysorean on the blogspot and I started reading...It was about a lady from Mysore I guess who was blogging about her food, family etc..I thought what a neat idea! All along I wanted to write my thoughts which I do scribble somtimes on my diary, or my notepad on the computer. Never occured to me once that I could be a blogger. What if there are others who find my thoughts interesting ? or funny? or sincere? Why not post them?
Soon, the thought turned into an action and here it is my first post. Not sure anyone reads this or finds this interesting. But I will post and find joy in my passion of writing. My words may not be accurate nor elaborate but my thoughts are always sincere and true to my heart!

Cheers to my first blog and many more to go!

- an amateur blogger